Today is my one year anniversary! That's right, as of today, I have officially lived in Los Angeles for a whole year. To celebrate, my girlfriends and I went and saw "Eclipse," the third movie in the Twilight saga. It was glorious, to say the least. The acting is pretty much terrible (with the exception of a select few - specifically Billy Burke, who plays Bella's dad), but there is some delicious man candy running rampant. Which essentially wipes out the bad acting factor. And we're all swooning over the Edward/Bella love affair, no matter how unrealistic it may be.
Speaking of love, I've had my ups and downs in the last year, but nothing can change how crazy I am about LA. That's pretty much been the only thing that has remained consistent. My OTHER affairs, and those of my friends...not so much. Well, let's be honest. Even using the term 'love affair' whilst referring to my dating life is - at best - a big stretch. Also, I sort of feel like Alexis Carrington and maybe next I'm going to start calling everyone "dahhhhling." But even if my dating life has been less than exciting, recently my friends have been subjected to some seriously questionable male behavior.
Let's start with E. Poor, poor E. She's had a really rough go of things the last few weeks. First of all, it's important for you to know that E is tall, thin, and gorgeous. The kind of girl that gets asked out ALL THE TIME, and literally dates famous people regularly. It's a bit sickening, and frankly, if I didn't love her to death, I'd probably hate her. However, E's luck with men has been just terrible lately. First there was Buggy (a beautiful 23-year-old boy with a degree in entomology from an Ivy League school). Buggy had all the promise in the world. Tall, super hot, clearly smart. Then E went out with him, and that's where the shit hit the fan. Buggy was boring with a capital "B." According to E, he was a total gentleman but essentially brought nothing to the table. What a drag, right? But I guess we should have all been wary of a super-hot dude with a degree in bug science. That takes a special person. Apparently one who is a murderer of fun.
The one thing that made all that bearable was that E was having a major text message flirtation with this guy from Texas. Tex works in finance, is in his early 30's, and was coming to LA to visit his pals for the weekend of the 4th. E was ecstatic. Especially after Buggy, she was thrilled to hang out with an older, more mature, sexy guy. The buildup for the weekend was intense. There were multiple banter-laden text messages laced with references to making out. Tex invited E to a BBQ, and when she arrived (July 4th cookies and white wine in hand) he was high beyond functioning. Like, so high he didn't speak to her. And after giving it the old college try, E took her cookies and hit the bricks, ending the night prematurely because she couldn't stand the awkwardness.
So it just goes to show, none of us is impervious to the perils of dating. You think you finally meet someone great, but you just don't know what weirdness is lurking underneath. The search continues for my ladies and me. The seven of us are single, mingling, and weeding out the weirdos one by one. And if the only defect a man has is that he's a vampire? Well, I think we could all do a little worse.
High Five.
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