Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Do it to Me One More Time

Well shock me, shock me! The surprise of the century came earlier this week when it was revealed Jake Pavelka (aka The Bachelor from last season) and his girlfriend of ten minutes, Vienna, broke up. People magazine is in a tizzy, let me tell you. It shouldn't be news. I mean, look. Jake was clearly this awkward nerdy virgin, who fell for Vienna because she was skanking it up on the show. Given Jake's innate awkwardness, I don't think he'd ever experienced that kind of attention from the ladies, despite those abs carved from granite.

What's so glorious, is that the breakup coincides with the current (and maybe my favorite to date) season of "The Bachelorette." If you've not been watching lately, things are getting cheese-a-riffic on ABC as Ali and the remaining 10 dudes travel the globe. They spent last week in Iceland, and still MIRACULOUSLY managed to find a hot tub for everyone to get in. Granted, the hot tub was actually a lake called the Blue Lagoon, but still. It was the same effect, I assure you.

I'm feeling really torn right now about who to root for on the show. At first I hated Frank, because I thought he seemed totally fake and a little too spazzy. Also, I don't like the fact that he's a 'retail manager/screenwriter.' This to me basically screams the fact that Frank is an aspiring actor and upon completing his tenure on 'The Bachelorette' will likely follow in the footsteps of so many before him and try to make a go at becoming a professional actor. Ugh. I couldn't be more turned off by the idea. However, as the weeks have gone by, Frank does seem more charming and slightly less repulsive than he did week 1. As far as the other guys are concerned, it's crystal clear that Ali wants to do the nasty with Latin hottie Roberto, but I just don't know if I can see them ending up together. He seems kind of boring, but she's also pretty boring, so maybe they'd be perfect for one another. I'm putting my money on her ending up with Chris L. He's from Boston, loves his family, and looks like the worst kisser I've literally EVER seen on TV. Every time Ali and Chris make out, my shoulders immediately are next to my ears and I feel intensely uncomfortable. That being said, I think she likes him enough to move past it. Ick.

There are some really cute guys on the show this year, but at this point it's unrealistic to think that any of them are there for any reason besides getting their 15 minutes. I mean what normal guy wants to be on a reality show unless he's harboring fantasies of becoming famous?? I'm really sad Kasey got the boot this last week because he was a crazy tornado hurricane mess. I mean, he got a tattoo to show Ali how he wanted to "guard and protect her heart," (a phrase he probably said a combined 1,000 times on the show - WE GET IT) burst out into an a cappella song about their date, and got emotional every time he talked to anyone about how much he cared for Ali and wanted to be with her. If that's not reality gold, then I don't know what is. They say they do all these screenings in the casting sessions, but I don't think they're screening to get RID of the crazies. I think they're looking for someone cute with a good bod, who is also a stage 5 clinger. Well done, ABC. You're making my summer months so much more enjoyable.

High five!

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