I got a thai massage yesterday, and to say that it was intense is like saying Justin Timberlake is sort of attractive to women. Yeahhhhhhhhh. This woman whose name sounds like "Weep" was my masseuse and when she asked me if I wanted it soft, medium, or hard, I said medium. I should have asked for baby angel whisper kiss softness, because "medium" involved some serious pain. Like elbows dug so hard and deeply into my upper back I had to remind myself to keep breathing.
Afterwards I was extremely relaxed. I'm pretty sure it's because my body was beaten so badly that some weird chemicals were released to mitigate the pain. Last night was also season finale of "The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love," which I'd been looking forward to all week. It was down to Vienna (the deluxe white trash former Hooters girl) and Tenley ( the too-perfect and boring wannabe dancer). It was hard going into this season finale because I wasn't really rooting for either of the girls. I was, however, rooting much much much less for Vienna because that bitch is trash-ayyyy.
SPOILER ALERT! For those of you who missed it (perhaps because you have something cooler going on) Vienna was Jake's choice. He proposed to her on a ridiculously beautiful balcony in St. Lucia. Cut to the "After the Final Rose" special where poor Tenley is contractually required to show up and ask the most uncomfortable questions in the world. Like, "Why aren't you sexually attracted to me, Jake?" Ugh. The pinnacle was Vienna and Jake slow dancing to "On the Wings of Love" performed live by Jeffrey Osbourne approximately two feet away. Soooo wonderfully awkward. Then in a shocking turn, Jake was revealed as one of the newest cast members on Dancing with the Stars. All I can say is what the what?! And I know you're with me, America.
High Five!
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