O-Q!

Wow, busy couple of weeks. Let me start off by saying, man did I call the Oscars or what??! Ok, I was waaaaaaaaay off with Best Picture, but I still haven't seen the Hurt Locker, and thus cannot give my true critique of it. I was super-psyched to see Katherine Bigelow be the first-ever woman to win Best Director, though. And my God, Sandy! That dress! That speech! You were everything I had hoped for and more. Sadly, I didn't end up being able to DVR the show. Stupid, stupid, stupid of me, I know. I was able to watch at my restaurant, though. The only down side of that was the occasional interruption from people who, ya know, wanted stuff for their meal. Ugh, RUDE. There was another down side, and that was the lack of volume. Yeah, I watched the Oscars in silence, which really doesn't suck as much as one think it might. You still get the gist, if not the exact sentiment, of what people are saying.

Moving on, I'd like to take this blog to say some things to people about dining in a restaurant. First of all, it is SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE (to say the least) to tip less than 15%. It's 2010, not 1975, and you tipping me 10% aint' gonna pay the bills. So let's just get that out there. Secondly, can I please just take one moment to lament the jokesters that come into my restaurant? Please and thank you. Today I had a couple at a table, who upon first glance appeared normal. This JOKESTER (and trust me, this isn't an affectionate term. When I say 'jokester' I mean a man/woman [usually old, though not always] who is constantly zinging you with bad/cheesy jokes) was a young-ish African-American man who was dressed well. His female counterpart was dressed slightly less snazzily, and I can only assume they were friends from high school or distant relatives. Basically it was an awkward duo, to say the least.

Anyway, when I first greeted the table, I say, "Hello, and Welcome. I'm Kimberly, and I'll be your server today." To which the jokester replies, "Hello Kimberly! We just got married today." He then gestures to the woman across from him. I say, "Oh, wow! Congratulations!" He says, "Yeah, we also got divorced today." At which point, his female companion laughs uproariously.

Now, call me slow or bitter, but I just don't see how on any planet that is funny. Maybe they really did just get divorced, or maybe she's secretly in love with him and thinks his particular brand of humor is funny, but seriously? Dude, I'm just trying to do my job and get through a Monday lunch. Ya heard?

Another prime example of this is a few months back when I waited on an older white couple (approximately in their 70s) when I asked the man if he wanted another iced tea. Does he just say, "sure, thanks!" No, because God knows that would just be too easy and regular. He says, "Whoa, better not! I'm driving later." And of course, his lady friend cracks up. Maybe she was drunk. I don't know. The point is, in the rest of my life I can kind of be bitchy and just ignore the jokester. But here's the problem at work: I have to pretend you're funny and laugh every single time you zing me. Couldn't we just maintain a distant/friendly relationship where occasionally I say something witty relating to food and you are just glad to have pleasant service at a restaurant? I think that would be just swell.

Also, if you could go ahead and please tip me 20% America, it would really make my day.

High Five!