This is my first official entry, and I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Kimberly, I'm 26 years old and I'm an actress living in LA. Obviously when I say I'm an actress that of course means that I am also a waitress... Yes, it is glamorous. I do sketch, improv, and all that business. I was bitten by the comedy beast, hence the title of the blog. Sweet Jesus, isn't that clever?
Essentially I'm trying to become HOLLYWOOD'S NEXT BIG THING. That's an actual phrase used excessively in US Weekly and People, so don't judge me...
Now, on to the more important topics I'd like to cover. This blog will probably predominantly talk about pop culture (including, but not limited to: reality tv, celebs that are nuttier than squirrel poo, and fashion-y stuff). But don't be surprised to find random anecdotes and stories about my life and times in LA. Buckle up, kids!
The reason I started this blog today can be summed up in two words: HEIDI MONTAG. Now, for those of you living under a rock, or doing something more productive with your time, let me tell you a little story. This is a story about a little girl named Heidi who grew up in beautiful Crested Butte, Colorado. There she did all sorts of nature-y stuff, and decided she wanted to move to sunny California to pursue her fashion design dream. Once there, Heidi was seduced by reality television and quit her studies to pursue doing nothing and becoming famous for it. It was in this pursuit that she met her prince of darkness - Spencer Pratt. Heidi and Spencer's relationship experienced all the normal milestones of a young couple: her family repeatedly telling her they loathe him, sneaking off to Mexico for a marriage not recognized in America, her getting her first surgery - a boob job - because Spencer likes "Playboy types," yadda, yadda, yadda.
Today, though, pictures of Heidi were splashed all over the internet because she had 10 "procedures" in one day. Ostensibly, this means just one surgery (probably so that she'd only have to go be put under once - phewf! What a relief) with all the procedures happening back-to-back. Ewwwwwwwwww. Here's the really sick part... this crazy bitch is only 23!! Twenty-three years old, people. That's insane. She was a really pretty girl who because of low self-esteem or daddy issues or whatever injected poison into her face. Also, her boobs are now seriously like a DD. What?! Whyyyyyyyyyyy? Her eyebrows are stock-still and she looks like the sad frozen-faced baby of Madonna (circa now) and the Tiger Man (aka Stalking Cat). For real. If you'd like to see for yourselves, refer to the links above for pics.
So that's my two cents for today.
High Five,
Kimberly
aka - The Comedy Bitch
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